Saying Goobye For Now….

Eli and Jackie

I’m writing this post with a heavy heart as I’m saying goodbye to Marin mama for now and hello to Jackie.  I need to rediscover who Jackie is again, and in order to do that I have to let this persona of Marin mama go for now.  I chose to use this picture for the post because my friend Hilary said that this is the picture where she saw me, and saw the Jackie that she missed.  She saw a glimpse of my inner self in this picture and felt guided to send me a book and a message that I needed to hear, because she missed this side of me and wanted me to have that spark back in my eyes again.  More on that at the bottom of the post…

This blog has been my baby, and something that I created out of nothing at a time when I needed to create and get some passion back in my life.  I started this blog as an easy and simple way to pass along my favorite recipes to friends.  What it grew into was beyond my dreams.  I gained confidence in my writing, learned how to take amazing photographs and I also became a much better cook.  Win win, right?  Well, not exactly because my life and my true identity suffered as a result.

As this blog grew, so did the pressure to maintain this image of Marin mama.  Marin mama was this woman who had it all together, had the perfect husband, the perfect children and the perfect life. I was pretty much playing a role, a role that I created, and fed into as well. It was fun at the time because I got to escape and be an actress, but as time wore on, I lost sight of Jackie and who she was and what she wanted.  I was too busy being Marin mama, aka, Martha Stewart and June Cleaver, wrapped in one.  Martha was the image of the perfect hostess and cook, and June Cleaver was the perfect wife and mom, remember that these are actresses, not real people.  I noticed as time wore on that I was getting tired and stressed. I fell into the role of having to make this gourmet dinner every night for my family, and that if I didn’t do it, then I wasn’t a good mom or wife.  I put so much pressure on myself to maintain this image and identity for the blog that I was letting it control me at home, and it was creating stress for my whole family, as they were having to maintain this image as well.  In time I started resenting the blog, and I started resenting myself for not being honest to who I am.  In reality I lost sight of myself and I hid behind the blog instead of dealing with the issues that were breaking down in my personal life.  I felt that If I stayed busy and positive enough that I wouldn’t have to deal with the problems in my life and my marriage. I could just pretend that everything was ok, and write this story to you all each week about this perfect life I was leading, and that’s not fair to me, my family or to you!

Well, to be honest, I don’t have the perfect life. I have my life. My life is good and my kids are my world, but I’m flawed like anyone else. I wake up in the middle of the night scared wondering if I’m ok, if my kids are ok, what I’m doing with my life, am I fulfilling my purpose, what exactly is my purpose?  Basically, I’m trying to rediscover myself, who I am, what and who I want to be in this next phase of my life.  I want to find and trust my own inner voice.  I want to listen to my soul and do what brings me joy, not do what everyone else or society expects me to do. I’m tired of playing a role in life. I want to be authentic to who I am, not just for myself, but for my family.

So with all that being said, I’m letting go a few things in my life right now.  I decided that one of the first things I had to let go of was this blog for now, just so I can take some time to focus on real life, not life behind a computer screen.  I don’t know if this is goodbye for good, or just goodbye for now.  I’m playing it day by day and not trying to think too far ahead in the future. I need to focus on my myself and my family right now.  I need to get back into the reality and vitality of life again.  I want to flow downstream with the river of life, which brings me joy and excitement and releases fear.  I want to truly live, truly love, truly laugh and play, play like a kid again.  I want to rediscover and awaken to myself, my real self, not the self that society wants me to be or that I have portrayed in the past.  I need to do this for myself, for John and for my children, but mostly for me because I need to show my myself what it means to be whole, real, raw and to live life with passion and not hold yourself back.  My kids will thrive from me learning this because I will help them be the best they can be for themselves, not for society.

So if you see me out and about, say hi or give me a hug, and if you ask me if all is well, I will be honest with you, and I hope that you will be honest with me.  I’m ready to share with the world who I am, and I’m going to be real and raw.  I wanted to share my thoughts with all of you because I know there are many of you out there that feel the same way as me.  You’re tired of playing a role in life and you’re exhausted by your life.  You know deep down that there is something better and more fulfilling out there for you, your true authentic self, not the self that you have played for society’s sake.  The only way to see your true self is to stop running, get quiet and listen.  Stop staying busy to stay busy, and stop putting off making those changes till tomorrow.  Make those changes today and know that you are loved and that you are accepted. Once I broke down to my friends about how I really felt, and told them what I needed to do in order to figure myself out, I got the most support I could have ever imagined. I got hugs upon hugs and love in abundance.

I’m breaking up so many things in my life (so much more than just this blog) in order to break open.  I’m breaking up the normal in order to see what’s beyond the normal. It’s SO HARD and I’m hurting so many in the process, and doing something I never thought I would ever do, but I know that this change needs to happen, it has to happen, and with this change, a new and better life will emerge, not just for me, but for those closest to me.  I truly believe it and I’m guided to do this right now, even though it’s one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. I’m breaking up the norm in order to break open.  For those of you that know me and can read into this, you know that it’s not simply the blog that I’m letting go of.

Ok, so this is goodbye for now.  I want to thank you all for reading my blog and for being so supportive these past few years. YOU ALL are truly what kept me writing each week and you all kept me inspired to keep writing.  I wanted to give you all a gift today, and that gift is to be honest with you.  I hope that this helps some of you that are struggling with the same issues as I was, well am.  I hope that for those of you that are playing a role, that you look beneath that role your playing for everyone else and look inside yourself to who you truly are, and know that person inside is the one that we all want to see out there, the real you, not the actor.  Ask yourself, is this person that I’m playing or portraying really who I want to be, am I happy in life playing this role?  Is it fair to my family or society to play this role?  Is it fair and rewarding to me?  Do I want to live the rest of my life behind this false image, or do I want to look inside and see what or who emerges?  Only you can ask yourself these questions, and only you can step forward and make a change.

Also please know that you’re here to be you and to love you!  By loving yourself, you will be able to love others passionately and with your whole heart. I’m also leaving you all with a link to the book that my friend Hilary was guided to send me last week.  For some reason she saw this picture of me and heard guidance to send me a book, a book she knew was going to change my life dramatically, and give me the push I needed to make a change.  For those of you that are struggling with yourselves and life, read this book, it’s called Broken Open.  Not every chapter or word sat with me, but there were some passages and some parts that spoke to my heart and rang true to my soul, and I was ready to hear what needed to be said.

I want to say THANK YOU to my soul sisters, all of you, because there are many of you in my life, for accepting my decision and for slowly pushing me towards my decision.  You never spoke up and demanded that I make some changes, but you loved me enough to give me gentle pushes along the way, and you love me enough to help me through this, because I need you and will need you, and I know in my heart that you are truly there for me.  I feel blessed knowing this.

You all know how to reach me if you want to chat. My email is on my contact page. I will try to respond back when I can.  My blog is still open for you all and always will be.  It features all of my favorite recipes, so please continue to make them and enjoy them. I know I will be!

I also want to close by saying that this blog and the words and pictures I showed to you was not all false.  I do have a great life which I’m grateful for.  I do love my kids with my whole heart and I’m truly a positive and energetic person.  Those things are true!  I just glossed things over a bit and never told you about the hard times I was having, or the fears I was having.  I just felt false having to keep up the glossy image week after week, because I really wanted to be honest with you all at times, but didn’t know how or wasn’t sure it was appropriate.  Now I know better, and I’m going to work on myself to be authentic and real. Sending you all love, light and the gift of being true to yourselves and to your hearts.

So, goodbye for now…..

With love Jackie
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73 thoughts on “Saying Goobye For Now….”

  1. Jackie, I commend you and am very moved by your honesty and vulnerability. I think it’s what blogs are so often missing. I am a divorced single mom and my life has no pretense of perfection, kind of nice in some ways, I guess. Less pressure to portray an image that was already shattered! Anyway, your post moved me to comment. Good luck and take care of your.

  2. I’ve really enjoyed your blog and wish you the best as you step away and work on what’s ultimately what’s most important — personal happiness, finding joy in being, and being with those you love. Best wishes!

  3. Oh, Jackie, I got very emotional as I read your post. I am so sad to see you leave the blog world (for now), as you have been such an inspiration to me, and someone I always looked up to as I was planning to launch my own food blog. THANK YOU for all the inspiration, and your kindness and generosity after we met. As sad as I am to see you go, I applaud your desire to re-connect with what is most true to yourself, and opening the door for all of us to do the same. Living authentically is what makes life worth living. I hope that in some way you will get to share with us some of your journey. When and if you’re ever ready 🙂 Sending you much love and blessings! Love you, girl.

  4. Beautiful post! I will miss reading your blogs. Perhaps you may think about blogging about this journey. You write beautifully and you could help others by sharing your truth. I wish you peace and joy as you continue on your journey of life. ~Susan Dykes

  5. I discovered you about a year ago. Love the blog. I think it’s great that you are taking time off in whatever form that means for you. Happy for you that you are going to focus on other aspects of your live. I wish you peace and a new rebirth in the form that suits you and your family best.

  6. I am sending you so many courageous hugs and love this post that you created. I think keeping the front is the hardest part of having a blog, and I really appreciate the honesty you wrote this blog post with. You are a wonderful, talented and beautiful lady Jackie, I hope we will still hear from you… and I’m just a email away! 🙂

  7. Hello Jackie- I always enjoyed your blog and do hope you’ll start up again, you have a genuine talent and should share it with the world! I went through a similar situation when I had to re-evaluate my business in SF. Hence my move back to Chicago and now Florida 🙂 it was hard to say goodbye to something you put all your energy in but it takes more courage to move on and see the brighter things life has to offer. The only way to grow is to learn from your past, thus your future seems to offer much success to you and your family.
    Many blessings, Wendy

  8. Hey there! It is nice to meet the real Jackie!
    Although I am so sad to see you go (you’ve been such an inspiration!), I think you are definitely making the right choice. You and your family comes before everything else, and I think we all forget that sometimes. I wish you luck 🙂

  9. Catherine Guthrie

    You are BRAVE. You are capable and you will come through this whole and with a full heart. I have Broken Open on my book shelf…given to me by Joyce about two years ago. xoxo

  10. Best of luck to you Jackie. I can imagine how all-consuming running a blog of this magnitude can be. I was so refreshed by your honestly. So many of us are hiding behind the internet, facebook and blogs that we aren’t being real anymore, so I commend you on being real. If there were more people as honest as you then we wouldn’t have to hide…

  11. aww…Jackie, I’m sad so see you go for now, but I totally understand your reasoning. You and your family should be first priority. It is hard keeping up in the blogging world, hence mine not having a huge readership, so I am completely supportive of your decision. I hope this time off will help you to rediscover who you are. I’ll miss your posts as your blog is truly one of my favorites ever. Good luck and happy holidays! Sending you hugs!

  12. Hello Jackie , I wish I was close to you so I can hug you and give you much love. I want to say thanks for teaching me how to make delicious Meals , my family truly loves your recipes. Thanks to you I can cook more , I wish we live close by so we could do things with our kids. You are a great person and Mom , I can see all the stress you have put on you but for you to make s change that’s Amaizing . Dont blame yourself for what you have done in your life because somehow families like mine are so bleesed to have you , since your dishes are the best and easy to make , I love making fansy meals for my family and I learned that from you. I love you and I will miss you cutie.I wish you always the best on everything you do in life. Feliz Navidad Amiga ♥♥♥♥

  13. This is such a bittersweet!! I am going to miss your delicious recipes and blog! I am happy for you though – the courage to stand up and make the change you need to make. While I will miss you and your blog, I am so happy for you taking the higher road!!

  14. Congratulations! …and thank you for not being perfect…Although I admired you, it was too much for me to live up too. We don’t know one another, but I am sending you love and hugs.

  15. Hi Jackie. Thank you for your honesty and I wish you all the best.
    You introduced me to the most fabulous citrus chicken dish and KALE!
    Enjoy your new found freedom!
    Love Melissa

  16. Unless we’re getting paid, I think we should never let a project, blog or otherwise, rule our lives.

    Volunteer blogs should be just that. Volunteer. Post when we feel like it, ignore it when we don’t. No guilt. No pressure.

    Good for you for reclaiming your time. Thanks so much for everything.

  17. You really are brave…It takes such courage to live an authentic life, and we all get swept up in our different “roles” now and again. Now that I will be fist-pumping you from Socal, and that I really do wish you the best. Thank you for sharing your skills and love of good food and for turning me onto some great cookbooks and recipes. Abrazos!

  18. Hi Jackie,
    I’m happy for you that you had decided to go through with this. It’s not an easy decision, but it’ll be the best decision for yourself. When I first discovered your blog and had follow through with it every other week, I thought your life really is perfect, which I sometime think it’s not possible to have such a perfect life with no flaws, I too thought you’re living in denial, but after reading your goodbye blog today, I’m happy that you’re going to accept the reality. I truly wish you the best and have a happy life with your family. I still love your blog and all of your recipes, I’ll continue access this blog for recipes. Thanks for all the delicious recipes. Now go give yourself a huge hugggg… deserve it 🙂
    Happy Day !!! 🙂

  19. I completely understand where you are coming from on your decision. I own a small e-commerce business, and I have finally learned that it’s ok to close down my site now and then to focus on my family. It is certainly difficult to attain balance in one’s life.
    Please know that your efforts have positively impacted my family. After discovering your blog, dinners have been fun to make and delicious to eat; we regularly feast on your Favorite Turkey Burgers, Skillet Chicken Parmesan (a great excuse to finally invest in a cast iron pan), and Heirloom Tomato Soup (just to name a few)!
    If you ever find the desire and time to post a recipe here and there, I think I speak for the rest of your audience when I say we’d eat it up! 🙂

  20. Thank you Jackie for your honesty. I often compare myself to your perfect life (as I do to other bloggers as well) – to your amazing cooking, sweet kids and perfect marriage (even your rockin bod too sometimes :)). I am so relieved and happy to hear that your life isn’t perfect. While I don’t want you to struggle, hearing you open up makes the world a more honest, less scary place for people like me, so thank you.

  21. No one knows when they start a blog what an all-encompassing thing it is – from recipe development to photography to website and html codes to even having to know how to cook 🙂 And it can take over your life, in a hurry, in an all-encompassing way. Good for you for stepping back for now if that’s what you feel is best and maybe you will come back, maybe not, but whatever you do, thanks for always being a great friend, Jackie 🙂

  22. I just found your blog very recently and have really enjoyed it. I feel sad to “lose” you so soon, but am happy you are doing what is best for you. Sometimes that is so hard. I wish you the best and I will enjoy going back to all your older posts/recipes. I really like your weekly meal plans and honesty about what your kids love to eat and what things aren’t their favorites. I can relate to that so much with my kids and my cooking/meal planning. Thank you.

  23. Jackie..I will definitely miss your blog and the wonderful recipes,but I so respect you and your decision,your bravery! You are a terrific person who deserves the right to your happy place in life ….go for it…best of luck…..hugs

  24. Jackie,
    While at times, I felt envious for your life style choices, I never had a feeling that you were trying to present yourself as having a perfect life. I have been so grateful for the many, healthy recipes you have shared so that I could, in turn, share them with the people I love. As you have been an inspiration in the kitchen, you are also an inspiration in life. Sharing where you are on your personal journey today, truly resonated with me. Thank you! I wish you well on your journey.

  25. Jackie,
    I found your blog because of the mutual love of kale salads and trying to switch it up with them. I thought you’re pictures were really beautiful. Later, I found out you have Minneapolis connections so we have that in common. I’m not sure what you’re going through but it sounds heavy. Blogs generally start out as a hobby, though life is not, do what you’ve got to do for yourself and your family. I’ve been on a path to lose weight and I just read a quote saying that if you don’t love yourself now, be thinner will not do it for you, start to love yourself. We have to take care of business now, not later. Go take care of what you need. If you come back, great but if not, you’ll have your family and that is more important. Thanks for sharing, I hope all goes well with you and your family.

  26. Marissa Rosenberg

    Hi Jackie,
    I’ve been meaning to write for a while to tell you how much I enjoy your blog and how it inspires me. I am sad to see you go and I will miss your gorgeous pictures and recipes. You have a lot of courage and it’s so commendable. I think as mothers and wives we are so hard on ourselves. Even though I don’t know you, I can tell that you are a great Mom. I have so many doubts about my own pursuits and if I am being the best Mom that I can be. Now, every morning I wake up and say – I’m imperfect and I’m enough 🙂 A good friend told me that and I love it. Best wishes to you – you’re an excellent cook and I hope to see you back. Take care.

  27. Oh Jackie! You will be missed but there is nothing that can compare to the time that you spend with your family. Your happiness and theirs is the most important thing. You have made an impact in our lives and we cannot thank you enough. Thank you for opening up your world to ours over the last few years and for bringing joy (and delicious eats) our way. I would never wish for a blog to become a chore and I am so happy you are taking this break – no matter how long it may be. I wish you and your family the best! xoxo- Dani

  28. Dear Jackie,
    You are truly an amazing person and only through your blog have I gotten to know you a little bit….for that I am grateful. I will think of you every time I make one of your signature dishes. And Jackie, I will think of you and hope that you are happy and free to enjoy life….every minute of it.

  29. Jackie,
    I want to thank you for sharing a piece of you with my family. I have enjoyed many of your recipes and will continue to do so:) you have opened many new doors for my family and kids (both with food allergies) to eat delicious meals. Know that as you close this door to your life you have opened new ones for others. I wish you well and will pray for strength for you and your new journey.


  30. Reading this made me sad as your blog is genuinely a source of joy for me. But isn’t about me, it’s about you and what makes you happy. If that means taking a break to figure things out then so be it. Blogging can be so much fun but it when you are seriously committed to it, it can start to control you in a way that takes away the fun. I have felt that way at times.

    Ultimately, I think writing this took great courage and honesty and I find that truly inspiring. I can say with certainty that you are a wonderful person and mother, no matter what you have tried to portray for the blog. The real you shows through- a beautiful person, inside and out.

    I hope you are able to find the peace that you need Jackie. We will miss you dearly!!


  31. Hey Jackie, it’s very understandable why you needed to take a break! It’s so not easy running a home, blogging etc. Thank God for the grace that has taken you this far. Best wishes for the future!

  32. Jackie , I have really enjoyed your recipes-blog and am sorry to hear you are hurting. I have looked at your photos many times and thought there was more going on than perfect meals. I let go of what looked to be the perfect life 14 years ago…it was the hardest thing I ever did. I now have a real life and have never been happier. I wish you the same.
    Blessings, Cindy

  33. Bravo to you! I’ll miss your updates, of course, but as long as I can still access them here, we are all good! Maybe you’ll come back blogging in another form someday! I think you are a talented cook – you got me into kale big time. I’ve passed along many of your recipes. Best of luck to you! I totally get it!

  34. Hi! I only recently started coming to your blog which I luckily found when looking for the perfect sea salt chocolate chip cookies. I reference your blog all the time, so thank you so much for all of your recipes and stories. Best wishes to you!

  35. Jackie… so sad to see you go, I will truly miss your updates. But happy for you at the same time, I think I could actually visualize a weight being lifted off your shoulders as you clicked post on this entry. Wishing you nothing but happiness!


  36. My girlfriend found your blog a few months ago and been actively knee deep in your recipes and all the wonders of your blog. Thank you for everything you have given us.

    Please GO and take care of yourself and your family! But hopefully we will see you and your wonderful family again!!!

    Terry & Sara ^_^

  37. Hi Jackie, I celebrate your bravery and your honesty!
    Keep on going, cooking and loving and being mindful.
    It will get better I promise.
    Gabrielle Bernstein has some great vlogs and guided meditations, I love her a lot. You might too.
    Thank you for inspiring me!!

  38. Jackie, you are so brave…
    Nobody is perfect…not even Martha…she has the criminal record to prove it! But I love her just the same…And Mrs. Cleever…well, she is fiction!
    Blog when you feel like it, when you are inspired to, not when the ‘schedule’ says you have to. Follow your heart and your passion…I wish you happiness and hope to hear from you again…but if I don’t, I’ll know you are following the path that is meant to be <3

  39. Jackie,
    I admire you for being able to be real and do what you need to. You are right about blogging and how it becomes all encompassing. It can swallow you up if you are successful at it and posting regularly. Life its too short to keep doing it just because you are good at it. You are smart to figure out what you need to do and find happiness. You have the kindest heart and I hope you are as good to yourself as you are to everyone else. I wish you all the best Jackie. You are talented and this wonderful body of work (your blog) will always be evidence of that should you wish to come back to it. Most importantly, you need to make yourself happy. That matters more than readers and followers.
    Take care of yourself. All the best wishes, xx Kim

  40. Gloria Monacelli

    What a wonderful Christmas gift you are giving to yourself and your family! I will miss your blog but I will continue to make some of the great recipes you have shared. Especially the popovers :). Thanks for your honesty., We need more in this world. You are a great role model for your kids, they will surely enjoy the new, improved mom!
    Bless you in your new adventures xo

  41. What a heartfelt post. May you find the peace that you are looking for in your life. Just know that your blog has been such a gift to so many people, and it continues to be. Take care and be happy. XO

  42. Hi Jackie,
    Good for you! What courage it takes to make changes in life; what courage it takes to share publicly everyday; what courage it takes to admit you’re not perfect. I just had this conversation this morning: Why don’t women talk more about the struggles they have in life, marriage, parenting? We all struggle, there is no such thing as perfect, but we still keep trying to hide behind it. We aren’t doing ourselves any favours by hiding the truth and pretending perfect; what pressure we place on ourselves and the lovely women around us.
    I’m 100% sure what you are feeling is very common on the continuum of growth as a woman.
    Good for you for taking care of “mama” first. Ultimately, your life will be richer in all ways which will only make life more enriching for your nearest and dearest.

    I thank you for your courage and honesty and wish you love and peace as you move forward. GO GIRL!

  43. thank you for this beautiful and inspirational post and for leaving the blog open, it has been so helpful and valuable. Thank you for sharing your learning process.

  44. I congratulate you on your strength for recognizing what is going on in your life and on your courage to step out and do what is needed. I am sad to see you go for I have just found your blog not even a week ago, better late than never. : ) I am sending my most sincerest prayers for your journey and hope to see you blogging in the future.

  45. No one has the perfect life. An amazing heartfelt post. I have only being reading your blog for a few months, but I looked forward to it and loved so many of your recipes. I am making the popovers for Christmas. Good luck on your journey and I hope you find what you are seeking. Merry Christmas to you and your family. Take care and sending hugs and encouragement to you. XO

  46. Hi Jackie-

    I am so sad to read this post, but glad you are doing what you need. It can be so hard to be brave and do what you need…so go you! I’ll miss your recipes, but am eternally thankful for you introducing me to lacinato kale! 🙂 And, on the opposite end of the health spectrum, your chocolate chip cookies are. Life. Changing.

    I recently read a book that had a great line about how one of the top regrets of people was that “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.” You should be so proud of yourself for taking the time for yourself!

    Best wishes! Katherine

  47. Best wishes to you Jackie. We understand so well and respect you for doing this. Makes us all think about how we spend our time. We are so glad to know you and always have admired your work. Stay in touch if you can but if you don’t that’s wonderful too! Have a great time with the family.
    Love, Sharon and Denise – Big admirers from XO

  48. Dear Jackie

    I’m a recent reader to your blogs, recipes, photos – which I love and will still keep reading and using – love all of your recipes that I have tried – have yet to make your cookies but is on my to do list in the holidays with my little one – thank you for your honesty – just wanted to give you a hug at the end – I wanted to share some of my own recipes with you – which I will still email to you when I have a spare moment 🙂 All the best in this next stage of your life for you and your family – I think keeping it real is a good message for all of us in this busy world – hugs and big sunny smiles to you 🙂 Sarah (Perth, Australia) xx

  49. jackie, i so appreciate your honest post! i know a bit what you mean about falling into a certain role and being unsure about how you got there, but just knowing in your heart that it’s not really you… so of course we all will support your decision! we only have one life to live, after all.
    i’ll be cookin’ through your archives in the meantime, and if you do choose to return, just know we’ll all be back. hope you have a wonderful holiday season with your kiddos. much love, cynthia

  50. Noooo!!! You are my favorite ! I’ll miss your delicious and healthy recipes ! But thank you for your amazing cook inspiration.
    I wish you the best for yourself and your beautiful family.
    Big hugs…


  51. Jackie, you will be so MISSED! WE truly love your recipes , your inspiring words, stories, beautiful photos and best of all, felt like we made a new friend across the country. You will be very missed for sure. We wish you the very best !! Good luck and be Happy! … that comes first and foremost in life, then all the rest will fall into place. Warmly, xxoo Anna and Liz

  52. Jackie,
    Not to be an interloper on an estrogen bastion or anything, but I felt compelled to reply.
    Good for you for finding the courage to redirect your life! It’s so hard to steer into the unknown. Your veneer of perfection didn’t disguise your character, charm, enthusiasm, and humor. People love you for all the things you are – your public persona isn’t even a factor. We all have struggles. We all relate. We’re rooting for you. May your changes find you happy on the other side of turmoil.

  53. Jackie- I’ve only just started reading your blog in the past few months, but I have really enjoyed seeing your recipes and beautiful photos! I wanted to let you know that you aren’t alone, and I think you’re very brave for putting that honest message out there and also for taking time out to decide what you want out of life. We regret the things we DON’T do more than the things we do! I hope you are able to stand strong and be comforted that you have the support of people who know you very well and even from those who don’t.
    You are a great writer and I hope we get to hear more from you some day- whether it’s more recipes or by documenting the journey you’re about to undertake! All the best and I’m sending warm hugs to you from Sydney, Australia.

  54. I want to say, I just found your blog about a week ago and have already made a few of your recipes that all came out delicious… I looked at you and thought you were a gorgeous, younger Martha Stewart/June Cleaver… I asked myself, how does she do it..?
    Why can’t I be more like her??
    I have been going through some major growing pains and was really touched to read your goodbye with its deep and genuine, raw honesty… I was guided to the book Broken Open as well and a lot of that book has resonated with me and I believe a really helpful tool for this difficult, but necessary journey of growth.
    I send you good, good energy and wish you well on your new path.
    I look forward to continuing to borrow your recipes… Thank you

  55. Thank you for the wonderful site- I’ve used many of your recipes for my kids and its was all very enjoyable!
    Strength and clarity on your new journey!

  56. Was sad to read this post but glad you are taking the time for yourself. Will miss your recipes and beautiful pictures. Best of luck to you 🙂

  57. Jackie,
    I’m truly so sorry to see you leave the blog! It’s one of the few that I follow and your recipes, demos and photos are fantastic! But good luck in your quest–you’re on the right track as I think the meaning of life is to be present to life!
    Hope to see you back some day,

  58. Thank you Jackie! I came over here for the popover recipe and was sad to read this but you’ve opened my eyes a bit as well! I have a blog too and although I like writing in it I have been finding myself on the computer at night more often than I would like. Thanks for sharing your story with us and of course you’re delicious food! All the best in your life and future endeavours!


  59. Oh dear Jackie I will miss you on this blog. You have taught me some fine cooking! Some of our family favorites are Green Bean and Shallot Ravioli, Lemon Chicken breasts, salads and Chicken Parmesan. They are known to my kids as “Marin Mama dinners”. I will continue to come back here for delicious recipes and your beautiful photography.
    Thank you for sharing your talents Jackie. You are gifted.
    As I am sad to see you go for now, I am grateful you are taking a time out for you. I will include you in my prayers as you work things through. Whatever you are facing, there is comfort in knowing that God is over all and is so very aware of your needs.
    Much love to you and your family!

  60. Jackie – I just found your blog for the first time last night while searching for a recipe for homemade Mounds bars. I came back today to start cooking after I had gathered up all of my ingredients, and read this post above (which I had not seen last night while paging through some of your other posts). What you don’t know is that posts like this one above are the reason many of us are drawn to people. We need people in this world who are honestly imperfect, and willing to accept that in themselves and in others. We need people in our lives who show us that it’s okay to let go of what we think others want from us, and fall forward into whatever we are, or whatever we want to be or experience in this short life. The post above is an example of love – for your readers, for your family and for yourself. Thank you for all you have put into this, and thank you for your thoughtfulness in composing such a heartfelt message. I wish you nothing but joy and fulfillment on this new path in your journey.

  61. I miss your posts. But I am way more excited for you and your decision to do what you know is best for you and your family at this point in time. It is making these decisions that keep us clear and peaceful mentally and spiritually. Good for you. As I’ve heard you say, just go for it, everything falls into place. It will for you too. I’m sure of it.

    If there is anything I have learned as I get older it is the fact that no person or family is perfect. I’m not saying that yours isn’t, but we all have struggles. Maybe blogging about the good times helped you with yours for a bit and gave you a creative outlet. Maybe you need to change your focus at the moment. Maybe you will blog again, maybe you will take on another great adventure, maybe you will be peaceful at the moment. Whatever your next steps, know that you accomplished a lot with your blog and made many people smile 🙂

    Happy Holidays

  62. oh jackie…it is hard to say goodbye….and how brave of you to write this goodbye post and share the real raw truth. I have so enjoyed getting to know you through the blogging world…you will be missed. I always enjoyed reading your posts, the recipes and your adorable kids 🙂 I also wanted to let you know that your post gave me a realization as well – to what is really important in life. Here I was stressing about what to post around Christmas instead of just trying to enjoy the craziness of Christmas with my family. What is important is life is my family…and I started my blog to share recipes and got caught up in all of it as well….so I am back to just sharing when I have a chance…not stressing about pictures time frames or anything else…just when I get a chance. Enjoy life Jackie! Have a very Merry Christmas. again thank you for being so real. take care! Angela

  63. Completely understand – sometimes you have to step back. Thanks so much for the recipes and fantastic writing. And hugs and good luck going forward!

  64. Jackie,

    Your enthusiasm and honesty are truly beautiful. I am so hard on myself 95% of the time, and I really understand the anxiety that comes with creating and maintaining a persona or image that you think you have to uphold so you don’t disappoint the people around you. The truth is (although I can never seem to believe it) that YOU are the only person who expects yourself to have it all together, all the time, all by yourself. Nobody else would love you less for being “flawed.” Good luck with wherever your decisions and your truths take you, I am sure you will feel amazing once you get there.

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